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A system can refer to a wide range of things: systems of government, systems of equations, operating systems, or even sewage systems. However, Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng on one type of system in particular: social systems. The novel itself discusses the effects of the sudden loss of a family member. It focuses on how each family member, the Lee family itself, and the surrounding community, as systems, are affected by the death of Lydia Lee. By showcasing the behavior of characters within each system, Ng makes it evident that the less associated with Lydia, the less affected a social system is.
Each member of the family has their own system (personality) through which they approach problems:
- James, the father of the family, is more flexible. He knows when and when not to speak, and hides things he knows will scare his wife. For example, James hides Lydia’s autopsy report from Marilyn because he “can’t imagine telling Marilyn that these things could happen to a body they loved.” (Ng 70) He goes to work to avoid conflict in the family. However, James accidentally has an affair with Louisa, his teaching assistant. He later regrets this and tries to tell Louisa that “I love my wife. This must never happen again.” (Ng 118)
- Nathan, like his father, is submissive. He and Hannah are sometimes ignored by his parents in favor of Lydia. The two children are observant but shy. After Lydia’s death, Nathan does not tell his mother, Marilyn, about Lydia’s recent behavior. When Marilyn asks for clues, he “thinks of Jack and says no.” (Ng 16)
- Marilyn is affected the most by Lydia’s death. Before it, her goal was to get a degree and prove her mother wrong. She was a housewife but aspired to be a doctor. She was efficient. For example, when visiting her deceased mother’s home, she concludes where people went when they died: “on, away, out of your life.” (Ng 84) After Lydia’s death, she is broken. Her new goal is to find out what happened to Lydia. She remembers recent headlines about shootings and murders and assumes the worst for Lydia. She begins to act recklessly, and accuses James of “kowtow[ing] to the police.” (Ng 116)
While each individual family member’s system is differently affected by Lydia’s death, the impact on the whole family’s system is even greater.
One important definition of “system” is that it is “a set of connected things or parts forming a complex whole, in particular.” All the traits mentioned above work as parts of a larger system, the Lee family. When one part is removed or changed, the entire system changes. When Lydia dies, it changes the attitude and function of each family member and the entire system. Before, the goal of the family was to raise successful children. Each member of the family had a job: Marilyn cooked for the family and encouraged the children, James earned money for the family, and the children went to school to receive an education. However, after Lydia’s death, the job of each family member becomes hazy. They split up and work towards their own goals:
The children split up with their parents and help to control each other. Hannah stops Nathan from attacking Jack because he “lured her, persuaded her, tempted her, disappointed her.” (Ng 121) The two understand each other because of their shared experiences of being the ‘youngest one’ of the family.
Meanwhile, Marilyn and James grow distant. Before, there was little tension between the two, except that James was afraid that Marilyn getting a job would damage his reputation. Now, Marilyn spends each day alone in the house, trying to figure out how Lydia died. Meanwhile, James keeps Lydia’s autopsy report a secret and has an affair with Louisa. He is less affected by Lydia’s death than Marilyn. This tension causes the two to fight over how James treats the investigation. However, Marilyn’s words suggest that the fight is about more than just the investigation. Marilyn accuses James of “kowtowing to the police” (Ng 116) and implying that she is “just a hysterical housewife.” (Ng 116) This reveals Marilyn’s true frustrations: her ambitions of being a doctor and possible dissatisfaction with James. All of these factors introduced to the family negatively affect the family’s system.
The Lee family is only a smaller system in the surrounding community. The community is a network of families who work towards the collective goal of improving the town. Since the most popular offering of the town is its news, Lydia’s death is seen as a spectacle and almost sensationalized in the media. As Nathan observes, the townspeople who arrive at the funeral “are drawn by the spectacle of the sudden death.” (Ng 59) The newspaper publishes puff-pieces about the investigation every week to capitalize off of the news: “Police still searching for Clues in Girl’s Death. Suicide Likely Possibility, Investigators Say.” (Ng 109) While this is the only real effect Lydia’s death has on the system of the town, some members outside of the family are also affected. Jack’s apologetic attitude after Lydia’s death is seen by Nathan as a sign of guilt. While most of the town was not affected by Lydia’s death, the death was used as marketing for the town.
Out of all these systems, Lydia’s death affects the Lee family the most. While each member of the family reacts emotionally to Lydia’s death, it is the combined reaction of the whole family that is the most significant. This is likely why the book focuses on the family and each member of the family. However, we also get an idea of the community around the family, and their behavior towards the family. The community, as a system, uses this news in the media as a source of marketing for the town. This description of the surrounding community is relevant to current issues: with accusations of fake news and sensationalism in media. By exploring all of these systems together, Ng creates a fleshed-out analysis of the effects of a sudden death on different social systems.
