A catastrophic mid-life crisis!

      Ever had a mid-life crisis? Well, Celeste Ng explores this concept in her book, "Everything I Never Told You" (totally worth reading!). It talks about the struggles of an Asian-American family in the 1970's. Marilyn, the mother, is a white woman who has the big dreams of becoming a doctor. There's just one problem: She's a woman in the 1970's. Plus, family life completely controls her life and she postpones her dreams for around eight years. But when her mother dies (whom she hated by the way), she realizes that the only thing worth keeping was a cookbook. She wants to be anything but her mother and undergoes a radical mental change. Celeste journeys the readers this by using two mechanisms: a scene where she steps out in the rain and "washes" off her old-self, and the moment she saw Dr. Wolff, a female doctor that was well-respected by her fellow male colleagues
       On her way back home, from her mother's house, Marilyn wallows in utter sorrow. To suit her emotions, the rain falls down in torrents. Driving in such rain can be very dangerous, which Marilyn apparently knows as she pulls up at the side of the road. But what we don't expect is that Marilyn gets out of her car, and drenches herself in the rain. Despite the fact that this forces the reader to question her mental stability, Celeste uses this moment to show us something else.
       Marilyn is washing herself off all the burdens of the past: her mother, societal expectations, her shuttered dreams. She opens her mouth, and lets the water flow through every inch of her skin. She says, "I will never end up like that (Ng 86)," definitely referring to her mother. She gets back into the car, dripping wet, and strips off her clothes, a symbol of stripping herself of the past. Either Celeste Ng is a very dramatic writer, or she's trying to show us the extreme transition Marilyn goes through. Probably the latter, or both.
     Second is the moment she saw Dr. Wolff. You are probably wondering who this is. Well, one known thing is that she owns a wild boy who roams about, preying after innocent high school girls. Another thing, and what Marilyn realized, is that she is a doctor. This might not sound as stunning now, but this was the 1970's. Marilyn observes her bossing around her fellow male colleagues (in a nice way). This made Marilyn, who had also aspired to be a doctor,  believe that her dreams were possible. But there was one thing she had to chuck out of her life.

      Marilyn had to get rid of her family responsibilities, just as Dr. Wolff somehow had. Taking care of a family is no easy thing. It took all of Marilyn's time and energy. She figured that getting rid of these obligations would be the key to her aspirations. Seeing Dr. Wolff in the hospital was no doubt a factor that led to Marilyn's mental shift.
       Marilyn undergoes a mid-life crisis where the past comes flooding back, caused by her mother's death, catching her completely unprepared. She responds to this by shifting her mind towards her forgotten ambitions. This journey is clearly delivered by Celeste through the purification of the rain and the observation of Dr. Wolff. The often-asked question on why people go through mid-life crisis and abandon their families is seen in Marilyn's case. Just like Marilyn, many people fall in love, get married and have babies before successfully accomplishing their academic goals. While this might not necessarily be a bad thing, careful consideration should applied before making impulsive decisions. So if you're young and probably not married yet, hold your horses, and only take that one step when you're utterly sure. Don't believe me? Check out Ms. Moem's Poem