Picture this: it's 1:00 am. Your face is basking in the soft glow of the computer screen. Your history paper, which is due tomorrow, remains incomplete, but the mere though of the your parents seeing anything under a 90 pushes you to keep your eyes open. Sound familiar? It's safe to say that most parents want their children to be happy and successful. Their high expectations are made with only good intentions in mind. However, this may not be the best way encourage academic success.
A recent novel titled Everything I Never Told You helps portray the difficulty faced by many pressured adolescents. Author Celeste Ng details the downward spiral of teenage girl Lydia Lee as she deals with her parents pressure for success as well as how both her parents experiences and her own lead to her eventual suicide. (I highly suggest you give it a read! For a more detailed book review, click here.) As outlined in the story, there are three main outcomes from situations such as this one.
1. Feeling Overwhelmed
Stress is unavoidable. It is normal to feel a overwhelmed every now and then, but it becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with daily life. The issue with academic pressure is that it is hard for students to stand up to their parents when it becomes to much. Lydia's fear of disappointing her mother prevents her from saying no to her mother's constant push to excel.
Adolescence is time of self discovery and finding a path in life. However, this natural process can be seriously tampered with when parents try to fit their child into a mold of what they feel is the perfect student. Similar to this, Lydia's mother was not able to achieve her own goals, and as a result, she forced those dreams onto her daughter.
High academic pressure being placed on you may backfire on both you and your siblings. The constant focus on one student can mean that other children do not receive the same amount of support and attention, often resulting in jealously, low self-esteem, and erratical behavior. For example, Lydia's two siblings were constantly neglected as their parents increasingly focused on Lydia's success. Obviously, if you are a single child, this doesn't really apply to you directly. However, a parent's own ambitions and relationships can also be affected.
The effects of academic pressure are not just limited to these concrete effects. Much more serious consequences can also occur. Children with parents who put immense value on achievement have been proven to experience depression and anxiety, making it less likely more then to excel in the end. (If you want to read more in detail on the psychological impact, click here.)
If you happen to find yourself facing similar struggles, remember that communication is the first step in resolving any issue with family. Understand that your parents want to see you happy and successful, but make sure to explain how their parenting strategy may not be working in your best interest. Ultimately, not every parent will lay off of achievements, but that's not the end of the world. Just keep in mind that the most important thing is that you are satisfied with your successes (while making sure that's not based on the values of your parents) and choose a path in life that makes you the happiest. (This doesn't mean you should stop studying though!)
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