SOS

SOS

Out of the grammatical errors that cover me,

     Black as the pit from affect to effect,

I curse whatever teachers may be

     For creating this test.

In the fell clutch of the Style and Usage exam

     I have winced and cried “How is this relevant?”

Under the bludgeonings of politically incorrect pronouns

     My head is angry and acry.

Beyond this place of concision and misplaced modifiers

     Looms but the Horror of my English grade,

And still the future of my Choate career

     Finds and shall find very afraid.

It matters how arbitrary the question,

     How charged with technicalities the exam,

I am not yet the master of this test,

      Not quite the synthesizer of these lessons.

From "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley

   

I wrote a parody of "Invictus" because the poem is centered around hopefulness and overcoming impossible obstacles--the opposite of what students feel about the Style and Usage test. I chose to subvert those hopeful feelings in my parody, which instead expresses pessimism and defeat about the looming test.